How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?
by Devi and Tess
Summary: Heero sees some suspicious actions between Duo and Quatre and misinterprets them. What will happen to Heero and Duo's relationship?


How Am I Supposed to Live Without You?  
  
by Eternally 1x2  
  
and  
  
Mystical1x2  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own GW, nor do we own the song used for the fic. That belongs to Michael Bolton.  
  
Warnings: MAJOR OOC, shounen ai, angst  
  
***  
  
I could hardly believe it  
  
When I heard the news today  
  
I had to come and get it straight from you  
  
They said you were leavin'  
  
He should have known something was up, but his usual fine tuned senses must have been down. He saw the way his love hung all over the blonde boy...but of course his Duo was like that. Nothing should have been amiss, or at least he thought. He was wrong. And when he learned he was wrong, his heart twisted in unbelievable pain.  
  
Everyone was there. Everyone saw. Quatre was having a sort of reunion party and had invited everyone that had been together during the war; the Peacecraft siblings were there, along with Noin, Lady Une, Sally Po, plus various others. It was a nice formal engagement and Duo seemed especially excited about it. A kind of excitement and mischief gleamed in his eyes from the moment he walked into the door and those violet orbs caught sight of Quatre. The two shared a, what might you say, "intimate" greeting. Heero did sense this, however he tried not to pay any mind to it. What was there to worry over? Everyone knew Duo was his...he had nothing to trouble himself over. And after all...weren't Quatre and Trowa together anyway?  
  
As he observed his surroundings during the get-together, he learned that he was mistaken about the two other men. They spent no time with each other. Heero did not see them speak to one another but once...maybe that was because Quatre was spending all of his time with Duo.  
  
Yes, Heero was alone...alone amongst the chattering guests. No one paid him any mind. Surprising, actually. Not even Relena said much to him. Heero could feel himself growing angry as he sat in solitude on a couch in the massive parlor. He watched Duo and Quatre...they stood on the far side of the room laughing flirtatiously. He was beginning to get the picture. His lover was very close to Quatre...too close.  
  
Someone swept your heart away  
  
From the look upon your face I see it's true  
  
So tell me all about it, tell me 'bout the plans you're makin'  
  
Then tell me one thing more before I go  
  
Heero's eyes then widened to big saucers as the tiny space that seperated Quatre and Duo seemed to get smaller and smaller...before he knew it, his lover reached out to Quatre's head and held it gently. He brought the blonde's mouth closer to his, and immediately swallowed the other boy hungrily.  
  
Heero became furious. Surely, it meant nothing, didn't it? Quatre would pull away any second now, right?  
  
Wrong.  
  
Heero watched in shock as Quatre deepened the kiss, his free hands starting to roam over Duo's body, touching places Heero had thought he himself could and would only touch. The anger started to grow within Heero, and was now so strong that nothing would stop him from interfering. With a look of murder showing in his Prussian blue orbs, Heero jumped off of the couch and stormed over to where his "lover" and Quatre were playing their little games.  
  
Growling, Heero grabbed Quatre and slammed him into the wall, glaring at the Arabian boy with looks that would literally kill. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?!" Heero seethed, not waiting for a reply before he punched Quatre squarely in the jaw.  
  
Quatre winced as Heero's fist made contact with his face. Biting back a cry, Quatre lifted one of his hands to his jawline and rubbed the wound tenderly. "What business is it of yours?" Quatre spat, avoiding Heero's gaze. He knew he was in for it.  
  
"It sure as hell *is* my business!" Heero yelled, now causing the other guests to turn and stare in his direction. Quatre flinched, knowing what would surely come next. He was dead meat, and he knew it.  
  
Before Heero could do anything, Duo's desperate voice interrupted. "Please, Heero...stop! Don't blame Quatre -- it's not his fault!" he pleaded, placing a hand on Heero's shoulder and spinning him around to face him.  
  
"What do you mean, it isn't his fault? Whose fault is it then?!" Heero demanded.  
  
"It's mine, Heero. I was the one who came onto Quatre in the first place," Duo admitted, now staring at the floor, not wanting to meet the hurt gaze of the man who loved him.  
  
Tell me how am I supposed to live without you  
  
Now that I've been lovin' you so long  
  
How am I supposed to live without you  
  
How am I supposed to carry on  
  
When all that I've been livin' for is gone  
  
How could one have the gall to do what Duo just did? "Why, Duo?" Heero asked lowering his voice, "Why are you doing this? I was sitting over there...I saw everything."  
  
The room grew completely still. Not a sound was heard except Duo's heavy, unsynchronized breathing and Heero's pounding heart.  
  
Heero felt awkward...the silence was heavy and he felt as he were suffocating. He was torn between wanting to beat the living shit out of someone or walking out of the room disdainfully. He chose the former. With no warning, he planted another punch across Quatre's face. Quatre flew backwards and Heero went after him once more -- only to be stopped by two pairs of strong arms. He could not tell who held him back...it didn't matter. The only person in his vision was Quatre...he was ready to shatter that seemingly fragile body. As he struggled in the unyielding grasps of the arms, he uttered a string of obscenities, wishing for nothing more than to rip Quatre apart. He glared at the blonde with utter contempt in his eyes.  
  
That's when Duo positioned himself in Heero's range of vision. Heero ceased to struggle and locked eyes with Duo.  
  
"I'm sick of this, Heero. This is how you always act. I thought I loved you, but I guess I was wrong. I'm through."  
  
I didn't come here for cryin'  
  
Didn't come here to breakdown  
  
It's just a dream of mine is coming to an end  
  
And how can I blame you  
  
Holding back his tears, Duo turned and fled from the room, leaving Heero thinking about the last words Duo had whispered before he left.  
  
"You don't even know the whole story."  
  
Heero stood there, not knowing what to do, trying to figure out what Duo's last comment meant. Then it finally hit him. How could he have been so stupid? When the party had finally gained some life back into it, Heero turned to Quatre, a sympathetic look on his face. "Here, let me help you up," Heero said, offering a hand out to Quatre. Reluctantly, Quatre took it and stood, backing away once he was on his feet. The blonde began trembling violently as Heero continued to stand in front of him.  
  
The Japanese boy felt like a complete idiot. "I'm sorry about the way I reacted, Quatre," Heero apologized.  
  
Quatre took deep, calming breaths. "It's okay, Heero...I understand how much you love Duo. I just wish you would have let him explain first."  
  
Heero's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?" he asked, confused.  
  
Quatre sighed. "I asked Duo to help me with something," Quatre confessed in a low whisper. "I wanted to make a move on Trowa tonight, but didn't know what I should do. I knew Duo was experienced with you, so I asked him to show me how he did it."  
  
Heero berated himself. He felt like a fool, a complete jerk. "Quatre, I'm so sorry," Heero earnestly said.  
  
"It's okay, Heero. I suggest you find Duo before it's too late. He's the one who needs the apology the most, not me."  
  
Nodding, Heero headed for the front door, which remained open from when Duo had run out a few minutes before. The Japanese boy noticed it had started to rain, so grabbing an umbrella and a coat, taking an extra one for Duo just in case he ran out in a haste without one, Heero ran into the pouring rain, hoping he wasn't too late and that he would find Duo in time to offer an apology, hoping Duo would still accept it.  
  
When I built my world around  
  
The hope that someday we'd be so much more than friends  
  
And I don't wanna know the price I'm gonna pay for dreaming  
  
When even now it's more than I can take  
  
Heero ran out into the blinding rain barely able to see the expanse of the long, white-paved driveway ahead of him. However, squinting hard enough, he was able to make out Duo's lithe figure running swiftly through the thick sheet of water descending from the gray sky.  
  
Heero ran quickly after him. Duo was fast, but Heero was faster. "Duo! Wait...please...!" Heero called after him.  
  
Duo glanced over his shoulder rapidly and when he saw who was following him, he sprinted faster than he had before. "Leave me alone, Heero!" He called to the Japanese boy. Duo couldn't see where he was going...he didn't care. Heero always made such snap-judgements. So, Duo concluded to himself, what he had done was wrong, but why didn't Heero allow him to explain. Heero never cared to hear what he had to say. Duo did what his first instinct told him to do...run. Leave quickly. Don't look back. He loved Heero, but he was fed up with his lover's behavior.  
  
By this time, Heero had managed to catch up with Duo and was in little distance from him. Duo gasped to himself and tried to run even faster. It was almost of no use. Finally, he reached the edge of the long driveway. Past the Winner gate was a road...a busy road for that matter. Careless drivers surged past the Winner estate at high speeds, and with this rain, they were probably even more reckless. Duo didn't care. He saw no cars before him and took that opportunity to run across. Bad decision. He reached the midpoint of the first lane and a driver without their headlights came full speed toward him. He froze like a deer, too stunned to move.  
  
Fortunately, Heero caught up. "Duo! Look out!" He grabbed his lover's arm and pulled the braided boy from the lane just as the reckless driver sped past.  
  
Tell me how am I supposed to live without you  
  
Now that I've been lovin' you so long  
  
How am I supposed to live without you  
  
How am I supposed to carry on  
  
When all that I've been livin' for is gone  
  
Duo felt his heart beat a mile a minute as Heero dragged Duo onto the wet sidewalk. He hugged his loved one close, feeling scared that he almost lost him. Finally giving in to the tears he knew wanted to come forward, Duo sobbed, resting his head against Heero's muscular shoulder. That had been a close call -- too close for comfort.  
  
"Duo," Heero breathed as he nuzzled his the braided boy's neck, "I'm sorry I didn't let you explain. I know I never would have been able to forgive myself if something had happened to you."  
  
Duo returned the embrace, wrapping his shaking arms around Heero's slim waist. Heero lifted one hand from behind Duo's back and started to stroke Duo's now-dampened hair. Duo continued to tremble in Heero's arms, both from the cold and from the fear that had enveloped him only a few short moments ago. He buried himself deeper into Heero's embrace as he felt the Japanese boy's hold tighten around him.  
  
"I promise not to be so irrational from now on, Duo...I was a jerk, and I know it," Heero admitted, frowning as he felt Duo's body continue to tremble. Remembering the extra coat he had brought, Heero wrapped it around Duo's shivering body. The American boy continued to cry, burying his face deeper into Heero's shoulder, finding solace within the man he loved.  
  
"Ssh...Duo, it's okay," Heero comforted, continuing to stroke Duo's hair, hoping it would help ease him up a little. Heero smiled as he felt Duo's posture change, and he slumped forward, his breath evening out. Lifting Duo into his arms, Heero cradled his love's sleeping form against his chest and made his way back to Quatre's estate, walking as swiftly as possible without waking Duo, so as to get out of the pouring rain and into a warm place.  
  
***  
  
Comments? Criticism? We wanna know what you think! ~Eternally 1x2 and Mystical1x2 


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